He’s got his trusty stop watch.  He should have worn his trusty shin guards.  If only he would have jumped at the last second he would have looked like the man.  He didn’t. So he looks like an idiot. I must admit that, even though he must have been in tremendous pain, I am impressed that he managed to do his signoff after the accident.

I actually feel really sorry for this guy.
Not sorry enough not to post this, but damn.